Monday, May 28, 2012
whatever it takes
recovery with brooke continues to be a constant struggle. between her behaviors hitting her face and her wanting to get to her back (partially because of a rash due to the self-adhesive dressing) it is a constant redirection, or holding her arm temporarily. today, for example, after waking up at 5am, bill and I were laying in the bed with her consoling her, holding her hands until she drifted off to rest again. she ate some breakfast which consisted of fruit, yogurt, and a slice of pizza. she kept wanting to touch and scratch her back and hit her face. it was challenging. we gave her a shower to make her feel better then, the LT staff came at 10;30 and stayed til 1:00. during this time, I got her lunch together, did laundry, and sat in my hammock for a bit. our afternoon was a bit more in tense for she got more unsettled, so we gave her some medication to calm her down. I made her dinner, she ate well but behaviors have increased again this evening, I cannot lie, at times, it is extremely stressful and I wonder if we made the right choice of going thru with surgery. you question everything at times like this. on a brighter note.. she is by my side and I desire to do everything to help her get thru this...and I will do whatever it takes.
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I love you guys so much and have the deepest respect for the journey y'all walk with such dignity and grace.
It almost hurts to watch yall be so strong. Have you ever seen those movies where someone seems so determined and others stand by in silence but they really want to grab that person and hold them until their desperation subsides? That's how I feel about you and Billy. You are doing such an amazing, passionate, job of taking care of sweet Brooke and balancing the care for the boys. That is who you are and your doing a beautiful job. Brooke is so lucky/blessed that y'all understand her the way you do.
Don't question if you did the right thing honey cuz we all definitely ask ourselves that, you just on a much larger scale, but you did the right thing cuz you aren't capable of anything less.
Give yourself a break. very much love and respect to you guys.
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