Thursday, August 31, 2006


chelation weekend. i'm pretty sure it'll be calm weekend.

molly works all weekend....pray for strength for her. i don't thank my therapist enough....they litterally fight for me! Laura, Molly, and Tammy---you have no idea what it means to me to have you here at the house to help Brooke....from helping her potty, swinging her, helping her eat, watch dora time after time after time, dealing w/meltdowns and screaming, singing to her in the shower....drying her hair, reading to her, combing her hair, praying for her, playing catch, blowing balloons, getting her in space to tell her you love her.....

the rewards are small...but on the contrary they are great....seeing her smile at you, grabbing your hand for no reason at all, getting on your back during walks down the road, and saying YEAH.....knowing she's really saying "thank you".
you each are a gift from God....i'm richly blessed-- more importantly----so is Brooke.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distresses. He stilled the storm to a whisper and the wave of the sea were hushed. they were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord. (ps. 107. 28-30, 43).

they were glad "when" it grew calm. i wonder how many days that took...storms can be for hours at a time....days at a time... in the ocean.

they "cried out to the Lord". i wonder how long it took before Jesus calmed the sea....(just as mary and martha wanted Jesus to come "right then" to see their brother who was dying---but Jesus waited.) how long did they struggle and cry out? can you imagine the sea coming to a stand still after such a frenzy...after such a struggle....maybe after loosing it came!

he "guided" them...the hand of God, the breath of God, the whisper of God, the comfort of God, even the quietness of God.....this we should take heed in and consider b/c it is the great love of God that guides us. we experience this when we cry out, when we struggle in the storm, when we are lost in sea, when the waves are so high, when no one understands the pain. yes, we experience the great love of the Lord and were glad b/c we waited on Him. no one else can calm such a storm as Him.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


if you think about brooke.....pray for her. she hasn''t felt well today at all....stuffed up nose sorta can tell she isn't her self. i hate when i can't help her feel better....God heal her body and make her strong.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

missing you

after talking w/the doctor in chicgo... she said w/brooke's aggression being as it is....we are seeing her detox. i cannot put into words how to console her during her aggression expecially knowing she is detoxing. her eyes are heavy....underneath her eyes are darker than usual...and at school the other day they said she seemed as if she was hurting...she cried until she couldn't speak. last night....for the first time in a long time i noticed how helpless...sick...lonely she must feel. Not having a voice to express your frustrations, pain,'s as if she was in her own world. Oh how i long to be in it....
i consoled her as best as i could (w/her not wanting you to touch or be near) seemed all i could do was pray. "come quickly to our aid God"....
tonight she is resting better...
ya know...i miss the sounds i never hear: "mommy-i don't feel good"
i miss Brooke even though she is in my life day in and day out....i can't explain it....i just miss her.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

God is...

finally---an update! I'll start out by quoting amy carmichael from "egdes of His ways"......

"when we are tried by dryness, dullnessof heart and despair, we are
very likely to feel alone in that most unhappy state. Perhaps that is why our
wonderful Father took care to have such writings as Ps. 77 preserved for us.
There are many such passages in the Bible, but i think this Psalm show the most
concentrated essense of spiritual distress we find anywhere. yet, it clearly
shows the way out into the sunshine. Verse 11 shows the way:it calls memory to
our aid: "i will remember the workds fo the Lord: and call to mind Thy wonders
of old time". It may seem quite impossible that we should rise and triumph, but
"Thou art the God that doeth wonders". we do not understand this strange
way: be it so."

this is where i have been....distressed, despaired. However, i know my God that does wonders, comforts us, triumphs with-over us, and rescues us in our distress. Let it be....God is for me!

as far as brooke....he behaviors at night have excelled. after 7:30pm comes (her usual bed time) she starts tantruming, hitting, throwing. she hasn't been going to bed til about 10 or 11. this has made bill and i weary b/c we do not let her have free reign over the house during this time.....whatever the case, as amy says "we do not understand this strange way: be it so"....but let it be....God is for Brooke!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


come away and rest awhile....Jesus told His disciples.
i've cluttered my solitude w/many's time to go away.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

God-given's just a hi, a phone call, an unexpected prayer, a gentle small, a big embrace, being in the same room w/ a friend w/o saying a word that speaks volumes....God-given friendships. you should know who all of you are...w/that said i love you...for the unexpected and the expected. it's a breath of fresh air, an encouragement from His word, a touch of HIS hand....that is enough for me. thank you!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

school today

(this is from Mrs. Knox...brooke's teacher at school.....thought i'd pass along the good news.)

Brooke had a good day today. When kids do well I let them hit a balland run the bases for good behavior. I got Brooke's hand to take her to home plate. She grabbed my shoulder then siad "Gotcha" and put her arms around me. Just thought you'd like to know about that. That is the first time she has done that here.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

my daddy

my daddy loves to swim w/me!

testing, testing, 1,2,3

talked with the doctor's office today to go over results from the latest round of testing done on Brooke. news is good. the chelatiobn is going well and Brooke's body is tolerating it well, also; some metals are moving around and being pulled from her system; some supplements are being added; and an additional chelator is also going to be administered to the present routine to help the process along. overall, we feel like good things are happening and Brooke is doing well.

will do it all again in 2 months. (woohoo)

Friday, August 04, 2006

our week

monday...our day at the nashville zoo!

swim day...on thursday!

pianting classes continue..w/a break on the couch. these momenst are rare...this lasted about 5 minutes...we take what we get!

so....all together brookes summer went well....friday (tomorrow) brooke starts school. it kinda makes me nerverous...but we will see. i'm excted though. it's chelation weekend...we'll keep things down low. i want to welcome tammy fleming to the group. she'll be working w/brooke on some weekends. she is a dear friend and one who loves brooke. she'll start on saturday....pray that things run smoothly as brooke and tammy ajust to their new surroundings.