Saturday, September 30, 2006


"come, come," He calls you, "O oppressed and weary, Come to the shadows of My desert rest; Come walk w/me far from life's noisy discords, and peace will breathe like music in your breast."

" He guarded him like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its
young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The
Lord alone led him, no foriegn god was w/him." (deut. 32.10-12)

"do you see why the Lord always trains His soldiers not allowing them to lie on beds of ease but calling them to difficult marches and service? He makes them wade through streams, swim across rivers, climb steep mountains, and walk many long marches carrying heavy backpacks of sorrow. this is how He develops soldiers-not by dressing them up in fine uniforms to strut at the gates of the barracks or to appear as handsome gentlemen to those who are strolling through the park. No, God knows that soldiers can only be made in battle and are not developed in times of peace. Turning them into ture warriors requires the education brought about by the smell of gunpowder and by fighting in the midst of flying bullets and exploding bombs, not by living through pleasant and peaceful times." streams in the desert

so....were the heck have i been....and where am i now? BOOTCAMP.... i've been in the cave, the desert, deep waters, and now in the pit. He will deliver me. In the fire w/Daniel...He was there....and He is w/me....i'm confindent of this; i just hate being in the pit.

Friday, September 29, 2006


pray for:
*chelation weekend
*behaviors to decrease
*direction w/education plan

Friday, September 22, 2006

a longing

do you ever long to see be held by Him?
today I'm there....a longing....a craving, a drive, a hunger, an
itch, a passion, a thirst, an urge, and a yearning

Thursday, September 21, 2006

somethings working...

i loved this picture....i can't help but think of God's promises to us in the midst of pain, suffering, heartache, trouble, difficulties, uncertains, and etc....i live in His promises for me and brooke for i know the plans He not exact plans, but i'm okay w/out knowing where tomorrow will take me...He goes before us, stands beside us, and holds me up from behind so i'm standing. i'm certain that He knows and that is enough for me.

brooke has had numerous BM's in the past few days....doctors in chicago says this is a great thing and that the metals are coming out. we were encouraged by this....however, i do know she is uncomfortable w/as many as 3/4 in a day---the bathroom is the last place i'd wanta go. her aggression at home has excelled just slightly after dinner....hitting the blinds/windows and sceaming very loud. we are not knowing exactly how to handle this taking into consideration the chelation. pray for wisdom and solutions to behavior problems.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

a prayer...

a dear friend sent this to me...and wanted to put it on the blog today-pray w/me for Brooke if you like. the verse i thought was perfect...and one i need to tie around my neck for encouragement and knowing His character....sometimes it just gets overwhelming and i loose sight of His purposes and plans He has...b/c i take it personally and w/pride (thinking i can do it my way).

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21, NIV)

Father,Thank you that you have purposes for our lives that prevail, and that we can count on you in every circumstance. Even though your purposes prevail, we can often miss your timing and cause the blessings you intend for us to be delayed. Therefore, Lord, we pray that you would give us great wisdom on how to stay in your timing and in your will for our lives and for Brooke's life. We thank you that the challenges that she faces are no real obstacle for you and that you can cause great fruitfulness to come. Lord, we pray that you would give each teacher and therapist great wisdom as they work with her, and that you would give them creative ideas for bringing her to her fullest potential. We thank you for your constant provision and for the comfort of your presence. In Jesus’ Name,Amen

Thursday, September 14, 2006

chelation weekend...

it's chelation weekend....chelation is hard on brooke w/metals moving around in the brain...kinda like detox. pray for an easy weekend....i'll be gone most of saturday.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

leaning hard

first off....thank you for your comments, they are little gifts of encouragement to me and i appreciate your responses to my random thoughts and raw expressions.

I was reading just yesterday in "streams from the desert" that a dear mentor of mine gave to me...the passage spoke so quietly and still to me that i have to share it.

"who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her
lover?" s/s 8.5

i loved this passage for many i do want to share. honestly speaking i have been in the desert for the past month...the desert for me has been painful, it was as if God had video taped my life and showed it back to me in slow motion, and it was insightful as i saw myself thru His eyes and not my own. I consider this passage for me a passage of encouragement and dear communion w/my Lord. the word "up" jumped off the page for me as i realized i'm coming out (up) of the desert....what a relief to say the least.....and then the words "leaning on her lover". Jesus....the lover of my soul, my dearest and best friend, companion above all rest, my comfort, guide....i lean heavily on His shoulders thru His embrace. God has been faithful as i said the other day---and He will continue to be faithful to me...this is His character...His nature.

As far a brooke is concerned....i'm so in love w/her. And though i give her she leans in to give me a kiss on her forehead.....i count it a joy as we go walking...of her leaning in to me for no reason at all -- a gift from what all i have learned in the desert. sweet communion.

Monday, September 11, 2006


a dear friend and i were talking today and she brought to mind a passage of scripture that i've always loved and used from time to tome...however, i had forgotten it. the passage was from Daniel....basicly it was saying....we will not bow down to the idol....and they said, you will be thrown into the fire....daniel be it, our GOD will save us, but EVEN if He does not, we still will not bow down. wow! what courage, strength, faithfulness. it got us to talk about God's faithfullnes to us...NO MATTER WHAT He will be faithful to His children. This....i'm counting on. I choose NOT to bow down even "if". at least, i wanta be there....but not there yet....this is my heart's cry to be faithful to Him b/c He is faithful to me.
thanks Jodi....

Sunday, September 10, 2006

new day

well, the weekend went rather smoothly.....a great praise is she had NO accidents at church. we were very pleased w/that...she is getting more use to going at church....and the workers. so, thank you all Joy Ministry people for all your work...for missing out on worship to be w/brooke and drew. how grateful we are for you and your faithfulness.

i was in memphis part of the weekend helping my dad is in the hospital....hopefully he will be out soon. pray for quick recovery.

tomorrow starts off a fresh week....a week i'm looking forward to for many reasons.

someone emailed me a verse this past week....i've heard it forever.....but it sure took a new meaning on for me.

"this is the day the Lord has made....let us rejoice and be glad in it".

God has something in store for Brooke....God has something in store for me...and you. I am confident of this very thing....that HE who began a good work in you will complete it. phil. 1.6 give me the confidence i need Lord...and to rejoice in each new day you have made for us.

Friday, September 08, 2006

it's a mystery

got a note in the mail yesterday from a mystery "person"...i of course would love to know who you are....i'm very suspenseful (is that a word?)....oh well. email me if you like

thank you for your prayers. they are all i need right now.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

song on the mind

Brooke has had good days and bad days this week. ya never really know what she'll walk in the door w/and what to expect....this is good i guess. keeps me on my toes and those that work w/brooke.

yesterday a song came to me as i was in the you sing in the shower? seems as if everyone in my family does....including brooke and her therapist! ha/
anyway----my dear friend that discipled (michelle) me taught me this song and it just came back to me:

"Jesus take me as i am
I can come no other way
take me deeper into you
let my flesh life melt away
make me like a precious stone
cyrstal clear and finally honed
Life of Jesus shinning thru
giving Glory back to You."

a song on my mind...a song in my heart...a new song...that gives encouragement, worship, praise, thanksgiving, and a way to rejoice....this is what i'm learning....

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

acceptance w/suffering

Just recently....i got away. It was a great experience to be alone w/just hymn book....journal. i walked away from the 'potter's house' (Jere. 18), if you will.....with a new kind of aspect of my life and my suffering. This may sound lame or didn't know that....but it was a fresher view....a different approachable goal for me....but i realized that my suffering will not go away. In fact, it may get harder or easier...but i will have this thorn in my life and that i should accept it. Boy---acceptance. seems like an easy word to pick up....accepting an invitation, accepting a job that you are going to love, or accepting a gift from a dear old friend.....but who accepts hurt, pain, suffering? who does that? In doing so....i believe we venture into a new realm in our relationship w/God....b/c He suffered...we share in a small taste of sufferings as well. 1 peter talks about rejoicing in your suffering.....humm, who does that? (i speak in sarcasism to some degree).
As i was getting home that late afternoon i noticed something on the concrete that "grabbed" my attention and put into a picture of the "acceptance of suffering" for me....w/no sarcasism or humor i was brought to my knees as i saw this flower escaping, growing, budding from, shining, letting others see beauty---as she pushed her way out from the concrete (the hardness, pain, suffering, between a rock and a hard place...if you will). She just sat if to say to me accept the suffering, accept the pain, accept...accept...accept. i quickly snapped a picture to remember. about a half and hour later Ethan (youngest son....addicted to flowers) brought to me the flower that had grown from the concrete as gift.....that i gladly accepted.

Monday, September 04, 2006

anybody out there?

so.....does any one look at this blog? if so, please comment...i haven't heard from anyone in forever.....

brooke is feeling much better and she's off to school tomorrow. i'm worn out, physcially speaking. i think i could lay down and sleep until sometime next afternoon... (w/o medication! ha/)

the Lord is my helper and enables me to be ps. 18 it's described as leaping over a wall. there are times when i know my strength is out...and there i go leaping over a wall that unexpectedly showed up....this is My God. If there was an Olypmic for this....i know i'd win...not speaking in vain here....but speaking only for the helpless state that i'm in and the Helpful Hands that push me over to my feet. this is My God.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


brooke is sick today-running a fever and NOT acting her self.....pray for quick recovery. we have had to put her on some meds so the chelation has stopped for the weekend....

The Lord gives comfort and He is our comfort. Lord....come quickly and comfort Brooke.