a look back...

we've had an eventful year. brooke came back home in march....we started bio-medical, the diet, chelation, and now behavior therapy. i can't believe it's a new year already. i'm anticapating a good new year with brooke with lots of hope, victories, and new direction. As i look back over the past few years i'm thrilled of how far she has come. baby steps, yes.....but they have been steps. we've had some tough times and i know they will try to defeat us ahead....but i'm confident that we will overcome them w/God's strength and timing. so today-i'm looking forward to a new beginning w/brooke....as an old friend once said to me. "just do the next thing"....and that is what we will do.
Happy New Year to all of you!

when i grow up...

today we (my boys, ethan and josiah, brooke and laura) were driving in the van just getting out. josiah (7) started talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up. well, that got ethan's (age 4) imagination rolling. then with an enthusiasm he shouted "i wanta be w-aura" (laura). we all said, "laura?" i said why do you wanta be laura when you grow up....and w/o hesitation he said "i wanta be w-aura because i want to teach brooke."

uh....my heart stopped...laura and i both teary eyed were just in awe. how sweet and precious those words were to me today. it's funny.....when i found out that i was pregnant with ethan i wasn't all that excited.....however, God knew what He was doing to bring me humor, a glance into a new perspective, hope, and alittle bit of me. it's the little things in life i say that keep me going. that little thing will go a long way.

laura and brooke

just when

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over...it became a butterfly.
just when we needed a Savior....God sent His Son in a manger.

Merry Christmas and may His blessing fall upon you as we worship His birth.

He is the reason

as little children we would dream of christmas morn and all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find but we never realized a baby born one Christmas night gave us the greatest gift of our lives. we are the reson that He gave His life, we are the reason that He suffered and died to a world that was lost He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live.......david meece

i love this song.....it's been ringing in my ears since thanksgiving......

what gift will you give Jesus this Christmas? i already know mine....and as hesitant as i am to give it...i know it will change my life.

it must be Christmas....

because Brooke is being very loving.....she's hugging everyone---and i mean HUG! whole body kinda thing where she lifts up one leg as if we are to hold it. she must want something for Christmas....j/k. It has been great. we've all just drank it in like water in the desert.
the other day we were at target and we were wondering if a complete stranger asked her "what's your name"....what she would say---so we decided since the person behind looked nice and sweet to ask her to do this little exercise for us. load and behold she said "brooke".....softly and sweetly.....however, molly and i weren't to softly when we praised her. i think the whole target store heard the rumble!
we are praying about many things w/brooke that i'll mention at a later day.....pray for wisdom and guidance as we venture into new territory w/her.
they will all be out of school come this wednesday. my parents are coming into town....i'm thrilled for them coming. i don't know a thing about cooking "christmas food".....but chili sounds good. nice and easy!

come

Oh come, oh come, Immanuel.

butterflies and brooke: the meaning

For those that are new to my blogspot i wanted to share what and why i have choosen to share my experiences w/you. I created butterflies and brooke after brooke came home for the learning tree for 2 reasons. First is to share brooke's victories, struggles, and request as i as a mother see things from her point of view if one can do that. Second, i chose to be completely honest w/my struggles as a mom of an autistic daughter....what God is teaching thru her, what God is teaching me outside of our situation, and to rattle off things that are on my mind. In turn....it's sorta been like a journal for me personally....a raw expression to God that allows others to view my relationship w/brooke and God on the front page.
I'm grateful to God that i can share my heart outloud and hopefully encourage others as we all struggle w/ something of some kind.

the week

it's been a busy week for me....getting some work done while the kids are in school. next tuesday is there last day...wow. can you believe christmas is already here.

brooke has been coughing....i hope she isn't coming down w/ something. she's been doing really well in therapy w/the girls. they are learning the ropes and are doing great.....brooke is too.

it's been a busy weekend. i'm sure it has for you as well w/Christx coming around the bend.

brooke has been been climbing the walls....going from room to room...can't seem to keep her still. now, she is in her bed sleeping....i'm grateful that she enjoys sleeping.
i'm tired tonight too. it's been a hard week for me and i'd love to sleep all day tomorrow.

shadowlands

this happens to be my favorite movie of all. it's about the story of C.S. Lewis.....in the movie he says:

Prayer doesn't change God...it changes me.

this is the biggest thing i've learned about prayer and my relationship w/God in my prayer life w/God. God may choose to keep brooke just as she is....but as i enter the throne room....He moves my heart....He enlightens my heart....He whispers the mysteries of His will to me...it changes me. and in doing so....He is carving me, shaping me to be like HIm. oh, it's not fun.....but the end results are worth every nugget of my prayers. i need to pray more.

quotes

"Joy sometimes needs pain to give birth" i don't know who wrote that....but i'm finding it to be a true statement. Job says everyone born from a woman has trouble. that seems to be funny to me....like job was trying to convey humor in his pain/suffering. It's good that i don't know why.....

saddle up

it is the little things in life that make you go on. walking in the bathroom finding brooke saddled on laura's lap while laura drys brooke's wet hair....just sorta puts a smile on your face.

thinking/meditation

i sit back and just watch brooke sometimes, wondering where her thoughts take her...what she laughs about...what she looks at when she sees me...trudy (our dog)...our therapist...dad...and her brothers. i wonder and consider and i'd love to look thru her eyes. truely i say this...i'd rather it be me than her.

as a believer we have the priviledge of meditating on the One who carries us, watches us, and yes...reads our minds. I'm a thinker. i'm not one to jump in and share my opinion....rather, i meditate on it.....and speak my mind. i laugh out loud now b/c i wonder if brooke is doing the same thing.....she's taking everything in and then one day- bamm....she speaks just is what is on her mind.

one thing is for certain. i choose meditation on God's word. Its the only thing that i need...and in doing so He speaks....and sometimes He is quiet. Being in His presense meditating on Him is all i'm required to do....it's when He speaks or whispers a word in my ear or shows me something from the mysteries of Him.....that is a bonus....it's the extra.

i love it when i watch brooke....and bamm....she says something i've never heard her say. she makes me smile.

what a day...

yesterday brooke came home in such a great mood. we were told she had a great day at school....that's really good extra good on a monday! we've started a new therapy plan that i hope will give her more words than she has now. my after school therapist laura and molly seem to be excited about it and are doing a great job and are seeing how each piece of the puzzle forms words and even phrases to her vocabulary. are hopes are high on the Lord....who does not disappoint.

i had an art show this past weekend at a friends house that i just recently met. i cannot put into words the outpouring of God's blessing. All the money will go towards brooke's bio-medical needs which include doctor consults, speciality food items, and supplements. My 87 mosiacs were sold out! Plus we had a "donation only" for brooke's paintings. we had 19 in all of hers and over half sold. God's blessings poured out that day....as an angel opened her house and her love to our family. what a day to celebrate God's provision and praise!