our plans

serveral have asked what are plans are towards the move to Mobile...here they are:

Bill's last Sunday-December 14
Pack, Pack, Pack-December 15-22
Memphis-22-26
Get truck-28
On the road/move in-29
Start new Job-Jan 1, 2009

there ya have it. i'll be sharing more later of how in the world we got to Mobile and just how close we will be to Brooke.

dreary

what a dreary day here in northern Alabama! it doesn't help my melancholic personality. on days like this i think of jumping in the bed w/brooke watching her favorite eposides of Dora the Explorer. I miss you sweetie and look forward in being near your neck of the woods and we can explore all we want!

thanks!

Just wanted to say a big thanks to The Learning Tree staff for a wonderful Thanksgiving Meal. The food was great and it was so good to be there w/Brooke. I hope you all had time to be w/your family during the holiday. Thank you for taking care of Brooke during this season it sure does not go un-noticed! Thanks to you Jennifer, for all you do to keep everything running smoothly.

something is missing

tears flow because i know you are there and i am here. i miss you baby! something is missing.

it was great to be w/you at Thanksgiving

moments

we had some good moments tonight with brooke. went shoppin to get her a few things and took her to chick-fi-la. there were personal moments w/just brooke that I just captured and took in. She brings me joy. We will have Thanksgiving dinner w/her tomorrow at her school and i look forward in being w/my family as I'm thankful for them!

repeated Hope:

this is from a journal entry from earlier this year....it seemed appropriate to share again today:

I have been exposed to hope. Hope. For so long I have lost sight of this…and took matters in my own hands. This caused me even more harm, pain, anxiety, panic attacks, and etc… But now, I have been re-exposed to hope, if you will. It almost makes me want to take a picture, find an old darkroom and develop what I captured. Your hope God has become alive to me in the depths of my slumber. I have realized the strong fog of selfishness I’ve been under. I have seen that suffering effects more than just plain owe me. However, it is now through my suffering that You reveal hope to me. It has strength, beauty, compassion, courage, love, patience and more than I could ever write down at the moment. I buried hope long ago and surely lost perspective of it. Now, it warms my heart, sings in my ear, and embraces me when I have no one to embrace. The journey for me is just now beginning. (Jeremiah 29:11).

thanksgiving plans

we will be traveling down to see brooke on wednesday and thursday this week. since we still cannot take her on an overnight visit, we will just take her out for the afternoon on wednesday and meet them at her school for Thanksgiving lunch.

I'm so excited to be in her world.

Just recently a dear friend of mine where talking about "being" with others. There's just something about hanging out with people you know and love; no expecatations, no nothing...just "being" with them.
I mentioned in the conversation that of our Lord. So many times we go to Him...asking, pleading, etc...and we don't just sit and "be" with the Lord. What if though...we just did that, just sat and listened, and were just with Him...not expecting anything at all...BUT when He shares something w/us, when He gives us comfort from His word, when He showers His blessings and goodness as we sit in His Presence..then, my friend.....that is the EXTRA, the unexpected.....and there is NOTHING like it.

I go to Brooke w/no expectations except to be with her...

confusing question

How can my heart be SO full to move extremely close to Brooke; and yet so empty in leaving some dear and precious friends? This is where i am at...amongst the boxes, cleaning, packing, and the tears.

daddy....

happy birthday, daddy! i love you....brooke.

changes: all around

We heard some good changes with Brooke today.

Her Instructional Analyst wrote me this: "I was over there for several hours training the staff on her new PCIP. Brooke was in such a great mood. Her roomate walked up to her and grabbed her hand and they ran off to the bedrooms (which I followed to keep them in supervision, but just looked through the door crack so they wouldn't see me) and they were running around being so happy together. They ran from one room to the next laughing and following each other. They looked like 2 little girls at a slumber party! It was so cute. Her roomate kept giving Brooke hugs and Brooke did not push her away. She smiled and laughed. The whole time I was there, Brooke was in a fantastic, playful mood. She did not display any problem behaviors. I have seen such a positive change in her and can't wait to get really rolling on these new skills we are teaching her. I think she is going to learn so quickly!"

To hear these things are just wonderful news to a mom who is 6 hours away from a hug or just a look in the eye. It makes me smile. I'm excited to move closer to her in the next several weeks...hearing that she is making friends gladens my heart...knowing i'll be leaving my friends here soon grieves my heart as well. Yes, there are changes--all around.

just grateful!

"Praise the Lord, o my soul; all my intermost being, praise His Holy name. Praise the Lord, o my soul, and forget not all His benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." ps. 103-1-5

I'm grateful today...for many things!
First, that the Lord has restored my soul from depression and who has healed my diseases. It's a great thing to be in recovery! I'm grateful that the Lord has removed my sin as far as the east/west, who forgives me 70 x 7, who has redeemed my life from the pit; and what i pit i was in! I'm grateful He crowns me w/lovingkindness and compassion and renews youth to me.
Secondly, i'm grateful Brooke is in a safe place (ps.91). The Lord has brought her underneath His shade tree, and in just weeks we will be underneath that same tree as hers (when we move into her area)!
Thirdly, I'm grateful for a body of believers from our church that has ministered to us as we have ministered to them. For dear friends that have stood beside me in the strongest storms of my life. For praying me thru the rough moments....moments i'm sure will continue to encounter me. I'm grateful for the love the Lord has bestowed on me thru them and i'm eternally grateful to be alive and well today!

what are you grateful for?

vision...

Here is a report from Brooke's nurse at the LT.....(she went to the eye doctor today). I'm so grateful for the Learning Tree. Thank all you guys who help Brooke out...what an impact you are making in a life.

"Brooke went to eye doctor today. Eyes were dilated and examined. No need for glasses all was “normal” according to ophthalmologist. Brooke did well. She did even much better than the initial appointment we took her on. There was a long wait today (2+ hours) and she waited well. She was scared with the MD examination and with the drops to dilate eyes, but overall did very well. "(nurse report)

our move

We are moving! It is bitter-sweet to leave. words cannot express all that fills my heart.

So, with that i say---we are coming Brooke! We are all coming closer to you.
More information will be shared later.

fall

fall is by far one of my favorite seasons. however, i did not enjoy raking the leaves for the boys to just destroy the pile i had made. oh well....you only live once, right? and i am sure i did the same thing when my dad raked leaves too. fall. it brings change. change brings life. newness. a breath of fresh air almost. I'm all about change! Just like a good storm rolling in...

we are all going thru a change as brooke remains far from us...wishing now i could look into her eyes, jump in the bed w/her--only for her to push me out, watch dora (over and over again). But I cannot. however, i remain confident. confident that the change in all our lives will only bring about newness--and breaths of fresh air. come Lord Jesus...change us...for i know that in some small way you rake up the leaves of goodness, riches, blessings in our life...and we get the chance to jump in them if we desire to do so. Let the jumping begin!

tuesday pictures

our tuesday.

i could not upload our pictures...will try again tomorrow. brooke's IEP went really well. It was good to see brooke and just hold her in my arms. we took her to McDonalds on monday...we enjoyed being w/her. She looks great....and it was just precious to see her. the pictures are coming.

latest info

i'm so excited to see brooke on monday. i called last night to see how she was doing...it was good to hear a good report. she is adjusting at her house just fine. at school (where more demands are placed on her) she is having some behavior problems; to be expected. Bill and i will take her to get something to eat on monday and tuesday we will have her IEP meeting to establish some goals. i miss her face. her smile. her touch...even sometimes it's a grab!

this is a busy weekend for me. i'm thankful to be involved in a womans conference...then to a dear friends baby shower.

i'll have much more to share/with new pictures on our return.

the distance.

the distance is always difficult. i'm ready to give you a hug brooke. I'll talk to you tomorrow. i love you!