wednesday wows!

brooke had an extraordinary day!

pray for:
a therapist
saturday (as i speak on what God has done in my life at a local church)

considering

i've been considering ps. 46.5 since yesterday when i read it in streams of the desert. I'll write a portion of its entry:

"Will not be moved" what an inspiring declaration! Is it possible for us who are so easily moved by earthly things to come to a point where nothing can upset us or disturb our peace? The answer is yes, and the apostle Paul knew it. When he was on his way to Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit warned him that "prision and hardships (acts 20.23) awaited him. Yet he could triumphantly say "but none of these things move me" (acts 20.24) Hannah Smith

I must say i've been w/o words as i've grasped on to this reality that with Jesus no situation or earthly measure could move me. Did you get that....am i the only one that seems alittle bit excited about this and inspired as Hannah Smith wrote? i must say that in the past week or so i've been tempted to be moved with anger, frustration, and hardships...but i've been encouraged in knowing w/God at my side...with Jesus in my heart, and with the Holy Spirit as my guide i cannot be moved. yes, paul knew this.....indeed he did...it is now my desire when things come my way not to be moved to the point of being upset or disturbed because of the peace we have in Him. Is. 26.3 plainly describes this! It's all about Trust, is it not?

doctor reports:

doctor reported nothing of big concern....so school tomorrow!

I'm excited to be sharing my testimony at a church in my area on saturday....pray that others would be encouraged as i share what great things God has done in my life (mostly w/brooke).

i'm loving this passage....i'll share more tomorrow on it. Ps. 46.5

taken for granted

i'm discovering more of in depth prayer life. how often we take for granted the option of releasing over everything we are in the hands of God. Someone said once to me...Jesus went to the cross just so we can talk w/God. If we take that in just for a minute...yeah, i'd say we do take for granted the magnitude of prayer. it's a priveledge to kneel at His feet and offer over everything that i don't have and that i do have. I don't want to take Him for granted. but oh how i do.....

brooke is sick. she did not go to church today....tomorrow we will take her to the doctor. Nothing major....low grade fever....and so forth. she let me lay with her all morning on the couch...it was a special morning for me to lay in her arms and drift off to sleep.

i don't understand...

just the other day the aid at school expressed to me that she gave brooke a command and brooke said "i don't understand". She gave the command again and brooke did what she asked. WOW! talk about amazing.

sometimes i don't understand either....understand the things God does, life and the list could go on...but what i do know is that God is good....and I hold on to that w/all that I have.

something new...

"do not call to mind the former things or ponder things of the past. behold i will do something new, now it will spring forth, will you not be aware of it? i willl even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert." isaiah

i'm on my heels waiting, anticipating what God is going to do with brooke. My vision is good, my mind is made up, and the past is behind me... the roadways and the rivers are like light to me and i'm holding fast to what God has in mind as i listen to His voice.

on a roll

well, brooke's past few days have been very good. they even told me why i was at school that the other day when asked to do a command she said "i do not understand". the command was again....and she then did it. i was impressed highly. at home she has done well during therapy time and we have started taking notch up. so......she's on a roll.

i'm headed out of town tomorrow...

amy carmichael

Isa 27. 8 He stayeth His rough wind in the day of the east wind.


"his rough wind" these words were a comfort to me this morning as i thought of my trials in flesh. By the time that wind reaches the child of the Father...it is His wind. and "he stayeth His rough wind in the day of the east wind". Things will never be too hard to bear. "we are troubled on every side yet not disressed; we are perplexed but not in depair". I have been finding this to be my strong food, and as i think of the rought wind, His rough wind, I am comforted."

this was taken from a jounrnal entry by amy carmichael. tonight i'm bothered by much and this passage was the wind i needed to go on. His rough wind. "HIS". not mine.

just dreams.

today is just one of those days where you wished dreams came true....where i woke up and brooke was well, healthy and not autistic....but instead she was telling me about her day at school and the new friends she met...and what she wanted to do for the weekend....and tell me she wanted ice-cream instead of a toy...or telling me she'd like a bath instead of a shower...or telling me she wanted to rent this movie all her friends were talking about...or show me this shirt she would really like to have.
but, it's not like that...and it may not ever be....how real can i get? it's frustrating, aggravating, hurtful, painful, and just plain a pain! but today----is just one of those days where you see dreams as shattered, she see life as difficult, you see your situation hopeless. But as a believer....i'm forced to HOLD on to Jesus who sees and hears all that is hidden in my heart and holds me until the sun comes up.

little break...

I've be taking a small break from butterflies and brooke for a bit.....
Some up-coming events are:

*meeting w/brooke's school tomorrow
*pray for 2 therapist that will work w/brooke
*pray for wisdom as we find out the meaning behind her screaming
*pray for our therapist--laura, molly, and tammy for guidance and patience

your prayers are appreciated and i'm eternally grateful!

priceless

buying your daughter's clothes: $150
buying her toys and a swing :$100
seeing her smile at you: hopeful
watching her learn new words: amazing
knowing God gave her to you: priceless

fun @ target...

this is before we found the Dora toy!

not defeated

today i'm weary, tired, perplexed, confused, soaked up like a sponge....but NOT defeated.

just one banana!

i was reminded of a story i read in a book by darlene debieler (or something like that....she was a missionary)dont' seem to remember her last name. she was in like a prision cell. the book is fabulous and must read, however i forgot the name of the book....and i gave it away to a friend. A faith unseen maybe....humm, don't know. at any rate....she was in this cell for so long that she had lost tons of weight b/c of eating oats (w/knats and worms in them).....She reached up to her window cell and saw a banana tree. She prayed "oh Lord, please just one banana"....
Later prision guards came to her...she feared the opening of the door whether to be beaten or else wise.....instead the guard threw in bananas. She sat there in disamay and counted the bananas........99!

wow! i'm reminded today that our God is full of surprises.....full of gifts....mended dreams....fulfilled promises and just for the heck of it.....98 bananas than what we ask for. He exceeds our needs.

bill gone...

bill will be gone til monday. Tammy will be my therapist this weekend. I'm dreading him leaving...and wish already it was monday. Pray for peace w/in the home....brooke and the boys.

More on Rett Syndrome

Happy Birthday to my (dani's) dad!!!

Yesterday was our doctors appointment in b/ham. It was insightful and i came away w/assurance in spite of unanswered questions. The doctor said Brooke does not have rett syndrome even thought she carries the gene. Our doctor is one of the leading specialists in this field and is certain brooke may not ever regress because of her age and how much she can do now. So, yesterday was insightful and full of important information to help her obtain the best of what she could and can do. We see this specialist every 6 months for research purposes. Thanks to his staff and their lovingkindness and their knowledge in this area of disability.

hanging on

My soul hangeth upon Thee: Thy right hand hat upholden me. (ps. 63.9)

In shadow of thy wings I'll joy; For thou mine help hast been. My soul Thee follows hard; and me Thy right hand doth sustain. (mertrical version)

Today has been about change. And in His arms i rest...and hangeth hard upon.

I AM

i'm reminded today not to put God in a box. He exceeds our needs if we allow Him to move and do more than we could even ask. I put Him in this box too many times in my life regarding brooke...cover it up...tape it up...and put it up in a closet somewhere....however Jesus says to me. "no dani, i can carry your burdens, i can do the unbelievable, i CAN...because I am the "I AM".

monday

today went well at school for the first day of getting back in the swing of things. She did well in therapy and was much better during shower/drying hair from the past few days.

Grief comes and goes. today it is here. The thing that gets me thru the grief is remembering. Remembering what God has done and being thankful for all the little things. the smiles-the laughter-unexpected hugs-grabbing your hand to show you something she wants to say but has difficulty. it is the little things in life....my motto in life, that keep ya going...that make you wonder what's coming around the corner...that makes you live for the next moment to see if it will be news breaking and make you wanta call all your friends b/c you see brooke doing something you've never done/seens before. grief. what a relief that we don't have to live in it. today my thoughts/prayers go out to trish and hannah. thanks trish.

school....

starts back up tomorrow. we are praying brooke will ease back in her routine at school and at home.

retts

I haven't said much about this b/c we really haven't had any issues concerning this; however, brooke was dx w/ retts syndrome at age 5. Retts is under the umbrellla of autism. It's only found in girls. Brooke does not show much of the outer characteristics of this sydrome. We have recently been concerned w/somethings concerning her w/this disorder and have started asking more questions, even though we see a specialist every 6 months in birmingham. there is much to be said about retts but instead if you are interested i'll just give you the website where there is alot of information. Brooke is in stage 3.

http://irsa3.timberlakepublishing.com/index.asp

long day

It's been a long day today. brooke started out this morning running from room to room to room...she started screaming in the am and it didn't stop until she went to bed. Laura worked w/brooke today at the table which went very well...but the screaming was still a main part of her day. she hit ethan w/a toy which ended up to be a knot on his head. her aggression was more than it has been in awhile for some reason. laura is tired, i'm tired....and ready to start off w/another day....it's been raining today as laura left we sang...."the sun will come out tomorrow...bettcha bottom dollar that tomorrow.....there be sun."

molly & brooke

this is great picture i think of molly and brooke. brooke laying her head on her chest to resembles a trusting. they have both come along way w/each other. A trust has occured that reminds me of the Lord.

How i want my head to be in the chest of Lords to so rightly related to Him...to trust know matter what.

Then seeing Mollys face lighting up....reminds me of how the Lords response is when we fall completely on Him. I'm there and it's a great place to be.

winter

i'm not to fond of the winter...the snow...i enjoy it but then i like for it to go away. we haven't seen any wintery snow. in alabama it's not something you can easily find. however....the winter does bring change. It's just part of nature. I would add that winter (hard pressing down) brings change also in our spiritual nature as we allow God to do so. Today i'm experiencing that...the snow has fallen, tree limbs have broken, the coldness has entered...but spring is around the corner bringing healing...newness. Even though i'm not fond of winter...it does bring to me something that is more than words can portray....a newness of life.

a look forward...

2007. i wonder what new things brooke will do, new words brooke will say, new adventures, new ideas, new therapist, new memories to replace the old....i guess only God reveals these things to us as we go into each new day. I know we are suppose to look at today only- for tomorrow is too much on my plate....but i have to look forward w/anticipation on what Jesus will do.

Lord, bless Brooke w/your fullness and may Your will be made known to us as each day approaches. May we live our lives w/thankfulness for what you have done for us. Help us w/your strength to endure, perserve, and to continue to depend on you for all we need. You are our Hope and our source of Life......