The thrill of a roller coaster excites me. At sixteen I got my first job at an amusement park. I remember riding the coaster and getting off just to get back on again because it was so much fun. It did not matter how long the line was either. I wanted that thrill, that rush, and excitement.
Although I was glad Brooke came home, it was a roller coaster ride that I wanted to get off. I screamed as I headed toward a downward spiral. I felt the excitement of a new experience. I laughed out loud with a big silly grin over the smallest things. I clinched tightly to the head bar that had secured me in. I wanted to close my eyes and pray for God to remove this from me and to make it stop. The moment Brooke walked back into our home, she became both the teacher and the experiment as we started the Bio-Medical treatment. We became the student as we watched her, learning from everything she did or did not do. From her medication to supplements to fixing two different types of meals three times a day, it was always up and down.
The whole family, including the therapists, had good days and bad days. The adjustments never really subsided. We, too, never knew what kind of day Brooke was going to have. Sometimes the stress level in the home was so intense all we could do was get in the car and drive around trying to make everyone happy. Do not get me wrong; there were days that were so peaceful. Brooke was learning new words, her therapy was going well, and her social skills were improving. However, our situation was so unpredictable. I was unpredictable. I was on an emotional roller coaster ride. Adding to that, I broke my wrist in April 2007, and the easy access to pain medication deepened my addiction.