Saturday, April 26, 2008

extra photos

ethan's gift

I love to see the boys love on brooke when she comes home. It is always so precious to see them give hugs, help out, scream: "BROOKE'S IN THE KITCHEN!", or just random acts of kindness. I have a stuffed animal, that was given to me at a difficult time in my life, that Ethan now claims as his. Last night, Brooke had a rough night. Ethan was scratched in the process. However, Ethan came down the stairs and put the little stuffed animal right beside Brooke once she went to sleep. Precious, just precious!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


brooke will be home wednesday-saturday for a visit. YEAH!

a catipillar

i just love reading amy carmichael's stuff. i read this today:

a catipillar was happy till
one day, a toad in fun
said "pray, which leg goes after which?"
which strained his mind to such a pitch
he lay distracted in a ditch
considering how to run.

"i think there are a good many toads in the world, and sometimes, not in fun at all but very seriously, they manage to strain our minds to such a pitch, that instead of going on in simplicity we may very easily find oursleves distracted in a ditch, not running, but only considering how to run."

Thursday, April 17, 2008

runaway bride

Seeing brooke yesterday was bitter-sweet. She was the first to come down the runway for the Glenwood Fashion Show...and the beautiful lady just kept on running, right out the door.

Journal Entry April 16 '08
...she looked so disturbed today...hurting, not feeling well. she kept bitting her arm leaving instant bruises/marks....out of the frustration of the world she is forced to know. she kept hitting me because she didn't know how else to tell me she was hurting. She didn't have to hit me, i could see it written all over her face. I saw it in her eyes-in the lack of her precious smile. Her eyes reveal everything to a mom. i feel as if i can see things in her no one else can comprehend. Today, more bitter than sweet. more pain than gain. The look in her eyes-bring tears to mine. Yet, i know that through it all He has her, holds her, loves her, calls her by name, allures her, dances with her, is her mighty warrior, best friend, constantly with her, her shade, her comfort, and contains every tear in a bottle--just like He does for me.

Monday, April 14, 2008

dark clouds

Call me crazy, but i love a good storm. Recently, we've had some storms roll in our 'neck of the woods' powerful as they may be--they are peaceful to me. I love laying in my hammock in our front yard, looking up above, trees swaying, dark clouds coming in and out, rain starting to pound on the ground.

Throughout my life, its been quiet a storm. The situations and circumstances that make/break me. I know, too, that plenty more storms are still coming my way. I'm not taken back by them for i know that "He makes the storm calm, so that the waves are still..." ps. 107.29

I'm confident that Jesus is with matter the journey, heartbreake, pain, loss, even the smiles, laughter, and things that make me just plain oh happy. There is always an end to a storm. Always! It is the storms that make us who we are today. So, as the song says, "Bring on the rain."

Saturday, April 12, 2008

well needed

I'll get to see brooke this wednesday for a well-needed visit. Just so happens the school is having a "fashion show." how fun, huh? i'm sure it will be very interesting. My parents will also be there. What a treat the day will bring!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Thanks AHS

Our local high school's beta club promoted and raised awareness for autism this past Saturday. The picture shown of "battle of the bands" was made all by puzzle pieces. Brooke has her name on one. It's located in the "A" of battle. Thanks Amy for your hard work and all at the beta club for your support!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

i miss you.

brooke----it's just the beginning of the month and i have to wait til the end of april til i get to see you again. tears fill my eyes because i miss you and i long to see your face. ----momma


Several years ago I found this amazing description of living with a special child. May God use it to speak to you as He has me.

I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of. I see that as well. I am aware of much...whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and desire, or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards...great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable...I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers. I am the child who cannot talk.
The world seems to pass me by. There is much you take for granted. Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them. I feel not so much envy as desire. I give you awareness.
I am the child who is mentally impaired. I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick, what I do know is infinite joy in simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the strife and conflicts of a more complicated life. My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child, to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love. I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the disabled child. I am your teacher. If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I teach you giving. Most of all I teach you hope and faith.-Anonymous

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

my shade

Psalms 121

I WILL lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, or the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever.