"there are some things that are too numerous to me right now, " i wrote in my book a few years ago...and this week i could have penned in that same line.
If you read previously, Brooke's coordination has been causing falls, stumbling into things, etc.. and we have been seeking to find out the meaning behind this. this past Thursday was her orthopedic appointment and after her X-Ray it showed the scoliosis in her back had increased 13% in less than a year to 43%. the doctor firmly and clearly stated, "surgery is needed." WOW. just like that i was picturing that day for brooke...asking questions in my head repetitively like a auctioneer.
leaving the doctor's office brooke had no idea we had tentively set surgery for her, she had no idea of the whys/whats/hows. watching her, i wondered if she was in pain and if she could say anything at all....i wanted her to tell me. something. that moment.
as i watched the doctor measure the % of her curve on the X-Ray, i couldn't help but remember a story i had heard several months prior. we have a dear friend, John Pack, USCG (retired) that was our Sunday School teacher while at WMBC in our area. As a pilot, John would go on rescue missions after rescue missions....and as our teacher, he would come in and share some of his experiences. One day he shared a story that has obviously left a mark on me. He shared as he flew into bad weather...seeing nothing in front of him, having not to trust in his emotions, feelings, or even gut but to trust in the plane he was flying. (a bit freaky to me). however, he said this, "in that moment, you have to trust your instruments." those instruments don't lie..and in the midst of a crazy moment when you can't see the hand in front of your face...you've gotta trust in the instruments. The Instrument (God). wow.
Looking at the X-Ray in the moment, i knew something was obviously wrong...and trusting in the doctor and the x-ray at the time seemed pre-mature for my questioning and wondering mind.
at the moment, we would appreciate your prayers, as yes, we look into this. we still need to talk to her Rett specialist and her GP. it is a bit unnerving wondering how brooke (non-verbal) will do post-operation. i understand that this is a big surgery for her, but will improve her quality of life.
we are trusting in the instrument Himself, Jesus and His word...to lead us and guide us as we care for Brooke.
(For those that don't know brooke has Rett Syndrome and most children do suffer from scoliosis. Most of the falling/stumbling is caused by this neurological disorder.)