thoughts

brooke will NOT move on the 6th to Mobile...but she will move on the 13th of October.

i've been thinking on this statement a friend said to me...all day long. thought i'd share:

"it is hard for man to recognize the total depravity of his own flesh unless he were to journey closely, deeply, faithfully, and trustingly with the Lord God most high."

up to the moon!

i love and miss you up to the moon (and back!)

wishes/Heaven/trust

first off...Happy Birthday tomorrow to my precious sister!
___________________________

I have a dear friend in Scotland....Julie. Her son, James is autistic. i met her thru the internet. I'm grateful for her dear friendship over the years we have known one another. there is nothing....nothing like talking to another mom who knows the ends and outs about autism. in a moment of distress she emailed something i had to share:

" I guess God pretty much hates autism too. One thing we will definitely NOT find in Heaven, thankfully. And there we will REALLY hear our kids sing.

Can you imagine how much MORE special it will be for them, even than for us, since the reality they have known so far has been so confusing.........................when it all becomes clear AND AMAZING AT THE SAME TIME - how big will that be for them??!!" thanks julie...i love you and i hope to meet you this side of Heaven.
__________________________

Trust...the simplicity of it all.
Why the maze we go through?
Letting go...the liberty of it all.
Why the entaglement of holding on?
Security...the assurance of it all.
Why the instability we pursue?
(dani-ga)

september visit

in the nile

If you have never had the opportunity for in-depth Bible study, let me suggest Bible Study Fellowship (http://www.bsfinternational.org/). I talk about it in my book, Little by Little. Tremendous and rich study of specific books of the Bible. I have been involved in BSF on and off for 9 years. Our study in "The Life of Moses", (which covers several books of the Old Testament) started up a couple of weeks ago for us. i won't go into the details of how BSF works; however, i will tell you, as you allow the Holy Spirit to speak, it will change your life as it has mine throughout the years.

Today was no different. We are in chapter 2 of Exodus. It was just 10 verses that captured a picture i'll never forget. (if you have the time, read them). If you remember with me...Moses was born and 3 months later was placed in a basket in the Nile. As Moses' sister watches him go down the Nile, Pharaoh's daughter was bathing and sees the basket with Moses inside. Later we see he was cared for by a nurse and nursed by 'a baby's mother'. Shelter. Protective. Sovereign. these are just a couple of words i see God is in this passage. As our teaching leader taught on this passage I felt almost crippled and gripped by each verse and word spoken. For this is what the Lord taught me:

as you know Brooke will be going to another facility in a couple of weeks. this means brooke being with people i haven't even met, being in a different city than us, being raised in a house different from ours, and basically...being away from me-her mother; furthermore, her family. as i sat there today God allowed me to see not Moses in that basket floating down the Nile, but Brooke. He said. ..."dani, put brooke in the basket...and let her float down the Nile", i have her protected..trust me, those that will get her will care for her...will you trust me? She will get everything she needs, just trust me". then, in the midst of all this our teaching leader shares "the Lord neither slumbers/sleeps"...which is my brooke passage Psalms 121. i leaned over to a friend of mine who knows me and brooke, and i said to her...that is from Ps. 121..that is my brooke passage! about that time...our teaching leader says "that is a passage i believe from ps. 121." Hah...! oh my!

I walked away praying, "oh Lord, i want to be faithful, faithful to trust You, faithful to believe what You say, You will do." This Word from the Lord came at a time that was never-the-less perfect, but isn't that the way the Lord works...as a friend of mine says, it's not about time for Him...it's His timing. Today will stay with me for a long time...He knew what i needed...and He gives what we need. I'm grateful for His voice...still, small, quiet voice that shakes and rattles my world.


Brooke, honey, you are safe! For there are no better hands than His...and that is where you are!

nothing like it

today our dog, Trudy (golden retriever), had 12 puppies! it was amazing! this hasn't been the first time I've seen puppies being born...but today when she had them i noticed something that made me consider something. right after the puppy is born (eyes still closed), she smells the mommy and goes to find nourishment and comfort. i just think that is just the coolest thing...the instincts they have amaze me and there is nothing like it.

on Friday i walked into brooke's classroom, after not seeing her for a few weeks, our eyes met, and she got up to come to me...I'd say to find nourishment (in some fashion) and comfort. Let me just say, there is nothing like it. nothing like being in a room with lots of commotion and fixing your eyes on something that will in someway bring you comfort or love.

the same with Jesus...scripture says 'let us fix our eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews). His eyes, His touch bring nourishment, yes, and comfort...and let me say....there is nothing like it!

changes

we recently had a meeting to decide when brooke will be moving to the Learning Tree....Oct. 6. I'll be driving down to get her and then continuing on to Mobile. I would ask that you would pray for brooke. Changes for her are hard and it brings much anxiety. there will be alot of changes for her in the next few months. some changes will be hard for her as she learns a different approach in learning, new people, and surroundings. My prayer has been and will always be for her Psalms 121. Join me, if you would, in praying this passage over her...and for her.

i'm thrilled she will be coming home for a home visit (probably one of her last, considering we will just have a visits w/her down there due to travel time). I'll get her on thrusday and take her back on saturday. It'll be good to have her home!

God is good and has been good to lead us back to The Learning Tree. God is good to lead us, period!

dearest brooke,

i know today was hard for you. i wish i were laying beside you while you sleep. i love you baby!
momma

learning that...

He is enough!

lament

Yesterday was difficult for some reason....i missed Brooke so much. Her little face kept popping in my mind, every little thing reminded me of her. Every morning during my time with Jesus I read "Streams in the Desert". Yesterdays reading was very appropriate for my sadness. I wanted to share what i read because in it is a small word I think we overlook...at least I do. It's bringing me into a new awareness when my lament is just too much.

"perhaps the circumstance causing my sorrows will not be removed and my situation will remain the same (we believe this is true in our case), but IF Christ is brought INTO my grief and gloom as my Lord and Master, He will "surround me with songs of deliverance" (ps. 32.7) To see Him and to be sure that His wisdom and power never fail and His love never changes, to know that even His most distressing dealings with me are for my deepest spiritual gain, is to be able to say in the midst of sorrow, pain, and loss, 'The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, my the name of the Lord be praised'" (job 1.21)

Into, as if you didn't guess, is the word i was speaking of. In Michael Cards book, "A Sacred Sorrow", says it perfectly when he writes, " The true answer for a lament of disease is not ultimately a cure. The real solution for a lament of financial distress is never money. The answer is always found in the Presence of God. It is rarely what we ask for, but it is always what we ultimately need."

Holy Spirit, thank You for Your Presence You give...for comfort, guidance, healing, just a touch, a word spoken that never ceases/fades. I'm grateful for the gift. The Presence of God is what i desire...and, yes, what i ultimately need.

exodus...

i recently started a study in exodus. this is one of my favorites in the Old Testament. I've only gotten to chapter one and i've been encouraged with these thoughts...what God says, He does. All throughout scripture we find this to be a fact. He does what He says! Funny thing about this is not all the time do we get to "see" what He does. however, what He asks us is to just trust that it will happen. Another funny thing is, yes, sometimes we do get to see what He does and what a wonder!

I'm not sure why Brooke is autistic...however, i do know i need, have to, depend on, rely one, reach out to, search for, embrace the God who is working on my behalf. Furthermore, who is working on Brooke's behalf. What He says....He will do it. Trust, the simplicity of it all-if you really think about it.

(btw, for the ladies i got a chance to worship with recently, and you know who you are, I love you! I only hope the Lord captures your heart as you walk worthy of Him, that you come to understand and know the love that will never let you go, even as we try to push it away at times, that you grasp the wisdom of His word, that you seek to praise in every circumstance of your life no matter how hard or how easy it may be. He is with you...butterflies go out to you!)

a sacred sorrow

i've been reading this book, A Sacred Sorrow, lately. there have serveral things that have jumped off the page w/me, here is one of those quotes:

"We are all tempted to lose hope, to let go. We all face the
enemies of disease and death. The terrible truth is we are, all of us, alone but for the One who waits on the other side of lament. He offers not solutions, but only His Presence. He bids us to give voice to our confusion and disappointment, even as His own Word gave them a human, flesh-and-blood voice. We might discover as well that even as we cry our to God, we are crying out with God."

I find myself today wrapped up in these words, wrapped up in His arms, His embrace, His Presence, His word. There is nothing that can satisfy our deepest need except Jesus and Jesus alone.

the move

as some of you know already, brooke will be moving to another facility. we are not walking on uncommon ground. the facility she will be attending will be The Learning Tree where she was before Glenwood. meetings will start next week, and the move will happen whenever we get everything in line. I have already visited the facility and her caregivers. we are anticipating only good things as we move forward. whenever i know something more permanent i will post it.

powerful statement

sometimes the greatest joys brings the greatest challenges

gotta love it!

i just love hearing Josiah (our oldest son) pray for Brooke.

It is the sweetest sound that daily rings in my ears.

Ya gotta love it!

something extra

there's something else i wanted to say about the last post. there is a passage in psalms (i don't have my Bible in front of me, or i would tell you the passage), that says "willingly i will sacrifice". wow. thinking of the past post i wanted to disect it a bit more...."yet, i will". the words, "i will" are just as powerful. thinking of my marriage of now almost 14 years we both exchanged the words, "I do", or "i will"....
Thinking on this passage has just made me think more on sacrificing to His (God's) will and not my own, His control and not my own, His power and NOT my own. Yet, "i will", willingly give, heed to, know more of, listen, give grace, show love, give w/o return, and yes, PRAISE.
Today, i'm Praising God for bringing me out of the pit.

YET...

what a word. man, it's small, but very powerful. the passage of scripture that i'm thinking of with this word is:

Habakkuk 3.18 "yet, i will praise You"

recently, i had a conversation with a friend about this very word. no matter what circumstances we endure we are encouraged to "praise" the Lord in the MIDST of tough times. UGH! i say. however, when i do submit into praising the Lord something happens...it cannot be described in words, but the Lord does something within us that gives hope, endurance, and peace. all thru the scripture we find the little word 'yet', maybe it's time to see what is on the other side of the word and take action to it. i'm challenged and encouraged to go on, move on, and more than anything Praise the Lord in the midst of my struggle!

the famous 20 questions

brooke...

1. what makes you smile?

2. what is your favorite color?

3. where would you like to be right now?

4. what do you think of the most?

5. what do you dream about?

6. mcdonalds or chick-fil-a?

7. what do you enjoy doing the most?

8. what makes you angry/upset?

9. do you have headaches?

10. what is your favorite fruit?

11. what is your favorite movie (besides 'dora')?

12. what brings you comfort?

13. what is one thing you would like to ask me?

14. what is your favorite toy?

15. what's the best part of your day?

16. what's your favorite food?

17. what makes you laugh at a tv show?

18. what flavor ice-cream is your favorite?

19. what makes you hurt?

20. how can i help you the most?

there are a million more questions i'd love to know the answers to. I may not ever know the answers...but i know who does. Jesus does. He is with you sweetie...and i know He meets your every need...to all your questions too. i love you--sleep well. ---momma