home,diet,health

well...brooke will be moving in her home soon. as soon as we get the call we will go and sign all the papers to make things offical. She's doing well in her home....they took her off the gluten part of the diet and are seeing good signs, they also took her off one of the medications and they have given great reports on that.

it looks like though, we won't get to see brooke very much as we do now when she gets in her new home. i'm hurt by this news....but God knows my pain and interceeds on my behalf. grieving is difficult and relieving all at the same time.

His angels

Today a friend went w/me to see brooke. the boys were able to go too. it was a good visit. the main thing i have to say that took me by surprise was...we went to the chapel on campus and before you went in you saw this bench marker i read the words and Knew God was not only speaking to Brooke but me to. the second picture is what i love the most. the passage is ps. 91.11. if you click on the picture you can see it upclose.

the smile i've longed for....

it's the smile i've waited to see. today's visit this saturday was really good. thankfully brooke wanted to stay in her room the whole time, so we got alot of one on one. it was good to see her smile....it was good for her to lean her forehead at me for a kiss. i've longed for this.....and i got it today....

our saturday

just wanted to give an update w/pictures of brooke and how she is doing. today (saturday)...it was good to see her. when we got there she noticed us and came to us and i was quick to give her a hug. it was raining the whole time, and the other children were alittle upset without getting to see their parents.....so we just took a drive around the area. if you notice she has a black eye....how i don't know, they say it was a reaction to medication, but i will discuss that w/them on wednesday on the team meeting days. it's kinda of a crazy few weeks sorry i haven't been able to keep you updated as i would have liked. she seems to be doing good in the program and we pray she'll continue adjusting. thanks to Jesus for being at her side every moment...this picture is for you brooke...and my dear friend trisha...

this is glenwoods sign coming in

bill and brooke
me and brooke
brooke w/josiah
ethan and brooke

the house she lives in now...

the house she'll move into

wednesday

wednesday we will leave for a team meeting for brooke. in fact, each wednesday we can come for the team meeting for her--to find out how she is doing, changes, etc.....i plan on making those bi-weekly...this weeks is very important. we will be talking about the medication she is on that makes her sleepy.....i'm hoping some changes will occur during the meeting.

for me things are hitting home that she is away-i've cried many tears...but i trust Jesus that His arms are better than mine.

trust

the Father said "do you trust me"..... with tears i asked...."Lord, what are you going to do, where are you going, how long will it take, tell me your thouths?" the Father said... " i'm sorry i cannot tell you, do you trust me?" with tears streaming down....i said "yes, i trust you".

recently this conversation came between me and the Lord. I wake up every morning and tell Him.....Lord i trust you for today. Looking ahead is to hard....and it makes me worry. but as His word says.....don't worry about tomorrow, for it will take care of itself.

of course, the tears still come....i still hurt...but I trust Him.

our monday

monday i thought would never end. we got to the hospital to get brooke. it was great to take her out of the hospital in our car. while she was in the hospital she was on some medication that now we regret agreeing on. she sleeps all the time which basicly limits her behaviors. we then took her to glenwood where we had an extensive meeting w/various staff. then we were able to go to her room (which she won't be in long-then she'll move into the the long term area---different house). so i wasn't able to decorate or anything..... she looked so sad, all i think b/c of the meds. she just stayed in her bed the whole time. we unloaded her stuff.....and got her room "dora" proof. ha/. then it was time to go. i leaned my head into hers and prayed. she just sat there as if she was being held by Jesus Himself.

since then bill and i have had some time to be alone. we went to a lake and spen time on a boat....sharing, crying, laughing.

brooke has not been adjusting well.....as we have talked w/them daily. i'll be going down on wednesday for a meeting and hopefully we will be able to sort out the meds.
thank you for your prayers during the difficult and trying time. i'm not afraid to say i'm hurting for her as a mother would.....but i'm confident she is in His hands and i'm not afraid of that.

Your Way

i'm left w/empty hands, a heavy heart, and a longing for Jesus. I need His way. It's perfect....why would we not want any other way. Oh Lord...embrace your child...embrace me.

trinity

today we put brooke into trinity hospital in birmingham. they have a behavior program...so we decided to put her there while we wait for a bed to become avaliable at Glenwood...which will be soon.
walking away from her was difficult. i don't understand things in life-why we have to go thru different things but what i do know is that He wants us to trust Him.
brooke has given me more than i could ask for...but tonight, i'd do anything to see her smile at me and say---mom...Jesus has got me, it's okay.

i love you.

the strength you possess amazes me.
the courage you have undertaken makes me wanta be like you.
the smile you have makes laugh.
the energy you have makes me tired
the love you share makes me smile
the tears you cry makes me wonder.

you amaze me brooke. i love you.

my view

it's funny how we view ourselves, is it not? one that i know about me....is i'm way to hard on myself. go figure. we are each made up to His liking. i struggle w/being confident in myself--which in turn effects every relationship i'm in. including God's. can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head.

glenwood

laura and brooke

brooke has been accepted into Glenwood. We don't know when she'll actually go....but it looks like mid-june. thank you for your prayers during this difficult and painful disicion. i'll be sharing more later.

next week

we will know more next week.

thrusday...

thursday we will go to b/ham to glenwood for a pre-admission meeting. we will be watching them and they will be watching her to see if this is the best thing to do. We get there at 10:30. Please pray for wisdom and guidance as God directs. thank you!

rough

just thinking tonight. good day---rough night.

pray for peace for brooke this weekend. bill will be doing my close friends wedding---molly at mentone. we are excited about getting away, however the way brooke's behaviors have been lately it only causes me more concern as we are away...

i dread the thought of glenwood---knowing it's best for our whole family.

broken...

sorry it's been a long time posting. i broke my wrist it has pins in it and everthing...and i have been in alot of pain. however, about brooke. things are degressing w/her.....so much so we are considering to put her back in a home. my heart is broken...but out whole family is suffering. the place we are looking at is glenwood, in alabama. if you are interested....it's www.glenwood.org

her behaviors have been nevertheless bad...and have increased in nature. please pray for us as we make decisions regarding our future.

but....

sorrow is God's greatest opportunity to deal with us. Because in those times we are so defenceless. we know that we simply can't continue on our own. (ethel renwick)

i'm troubled...but God is here. I'm wounded...but God is here. I'm scared...but God is here. I'm sad...but God is here. my sorrow runs deep. but I know that I cannot continue on my own w/o Him. In Him...i find what i'm looking for...what i need...who i can trust...and where I can completely be free.

pray

I would like to ask prayer for brooke....bill and i are at a crossroad once again w/brooke not knowing how to treat behavior...scripture in 2 Chron. says "and we do not know what to do"....i am so there. at school she is different...at home she is different....and at church she is different. sometimes i'm at my wits end.....and i look at her wondering what she is thinking. i want to help her so bad...but it's all a mystery to me.

our day

brooke's day at school was very bad.

brooke's day at home was okay. she is still getting use to Amber and Amber use to her. It will take time.

I was able to get out for a bit and come back home in time for her dinner. A close friend and i went to another one of my favorite places. Fall Creek Falls. We had a great time....was on top of a waterfall looking over...and walked behind a waterfall.

on saturday we went to one of my favorite places....sweene, tn. they have a natural bridge there along w/other neat stuff. brooke seemed to enjoy her time.

brooke is still the same, no major change....but we are praying....praying for new ideas...thoughts...places...so please keep her in mind as we try to make some decisions for our whole family. it's been a crazy month...but things are looking better...and i'm feeling somewhat better.