wednesday

wednesday we will leave for a team meeting for brooke. in fact, each wednesday we can come for the team meeting for her--to find out how she is doing, changes, etc.....i plan on making those bi-weekly...this weeks is very important. we will be talking about the medication she is on that makes her sleepy.....i'm hoping some changes will occur during the meeting.

for me things are hitting home that she is away-i've cried many tears...but i trust Jesus that His arms are better than mine.

trust

the Father said "do you trust me"..... with tears i asked...."Lord, what are you going to do, where are you going, how long will it take, tell me your thouths?" the Father said... " i'm sorry i cannot tell you, do you trust me?" with tears streaming down....i said "yes, i trust you".

recently this conversation came between me and the Lord. I wake up every morning and tell Him.....Lord i trust you for today. Looking ahead is to hard....and it makes me worry. but as His word says.....don't worry about tomorrow, for it will take care of itself.

of course, the tears still come....i still hurt...but I trust Him.

our monday

monday i thought would never end. we got to the hospital to get brooke. it was great to take her out of the hospital in our car. while she was in the hospital she was on some medication that now we regret agreeing on. she sleeps all the time which basicly limits her behaviors. we then took her to glenwood where we had an extensive meeting w/various staff. then we were able to go to her room (which she won't be in long-then she'll move into the the long term area---different house). so i wasn't able to decorate or anything..... she looked so sad, all i think b/c of the meds. she just stayed in her bed the whole time. we unloaded her stuff.....and got her room "dora" proof. ha/. then it was time to go. i leaned my head into hers and prayed. she just sat there as if she was being held by Jesus Himself.

since then bill and i have had some time to be alone. we went to a lake and spen time on a boat....sharing, crying, laughing.

brooke has not been adjusting well.....as we have talked w/them daily. i'll be going down on wednesday for a meeting and hopefully we will be able to sort out the meds.
thank you for your prayers during the difficult and trying time. i'm not afraid to say i'm hurting for her as a mother would.....but i'm confident she is in His hands and i'm not afraid of that.

Your Way

i'm left w/empty hands, a heavy heart, and a longing for Jesus. I need His way. It's perfect....why would we not want any other way. Oh Lord...embrace your child...embrace me.

trinity

today we put brooke into trinity hospital in birmingham. they have a behavior program...so we decided to put her there while we wait for a bed to become avaliable at Glenwood...which will be soon.
walking away from her was difficult. i don't understand things in life-why we have to go thru different things but what i do know is that He wants us to trust Him.
brooke has given me more than i could ask for...but tonight, i'd do anything to see her smile at me and say---mom...Jesus has got me, it's okay.

i love you.

the strength you possess amazes me.
the courage you have undertaken makes me wanta be like you.
the smile you have makes laugh.
the energy you have makes me tired
the love you share makes me smile
the tears you cry makes me wonder.

you amaze me brooke. i love you.